June 8th, 2010

morris

The House. The House. The House is burning down.

Yes, it's been a while since I posted. Combination of busy-ness, tendency to distraction and just plain fatigue.

And this weird apathy/burnout sensation -- or more precisely, lack of sensation -- engendered by the "House" season finale.

For once, I am not looking forward to the new season, and I'm not completely sure why. Look up "mixed emotions" in the dictionary, and you may see my picture.

I do NOT want to watch The Huddy Show. I have never been a fan of that pairing, and only a portion of my aversion can be traced to my House/Cameron shipper status. That ship -- pun intended -- has sailed, and I've been content to read and write fanfic where it lives on in happy obliviousness to canon. I don't need it on the show.

I love the character House. I identify with him and hate the fact that life has gone so wrong for him and that the people who purport to care about the man (i.e., Cuddy and Wilson) insist upon crapping on him. So I should be glad that he has a chance at a good relationship with someone. I just don't want it to be Cuddy.

I have this feeling that this is going to destroy something that I cherish about the character and the show. I'm just not sure what, exactly.

I was talking with a friend who used to be a fan, and she said she has found it difficult to watch because House's vulnerability hits too close to home for her. I am in the same position. I've always identified with House because like him, I've felt misunderstood and misinterpreted and "wrong" my whole life. But instead of becoming misanthropic and lashing out, I've turned it inward. Part of me is starting to think that watching and identifying with House is unhealthy for me -- that I should be focusing on the positive things in my life and not the issues that draw me to this character.

But I've formed this bond with him, thanks to Hugh Laurie's amazing acting. It's like a train wreck, almost. I can't turn away.

Thoughts?